• Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Go forth and capture’
    by Hovis on February 23, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Hovis is unimpressed with his current situation. Dear diary, Right, enough is enough. I am fed up to my still-amazing-and-frankly-the-only-part-of-me-that-still-works back teeth of this flipping rain. It’s as if someone has given Mother Nature a Guinness Book of World Records (other beers are available, I believe) and she’s trying to outdo herself every month. It’s about as funny as the mothership trying

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘This, my friends, is revenge time’
    by Hovis on February 16, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Hovis is unimpressed with his current situation. Dear diary, I know that I am blind as a bat in my right eye, but I could have almost sworn I saw some blades of grass in among the sea of mud in the fields the other day. Now, I could have been wrong, and it could have been an Irish worm en-route to

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Braving the latest round of Mother Nature’s tizz-woz’
    by Hovis on February 9, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Hovis is unimpressed with his current situation. Dear diary, I’m not sure this year can get any worse – which bearing in mind it’s only February and my mother is well, you know, my mother, is saying something. So far, I have been the subject of illegal prawn photos distributed by my mother and Crazy Self-employed Lady, been scalped within 10mm of

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I have more emotional baggage than Heathrow’s left luggage office’
    by Hovis on February 2, 2024 at 6:45 am

    Hovis is unimpressed with his current situation. Dear Diary I don’t even know where to start describing my last week and I am concerned that even trying to, will result in me needing therapy from the horror of reliving it or have me arrested for sharing indecent content. For once, it’s fair to say I am literally lost for words. The weekend

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘To come between a woman and food is like sticking your tongue into an electric socket’
    by Hovis on January 26, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Dear Diary, Once again my apologies for not writing last week but the blubbership was in Mum-bye (sadly more of an au revoir than a final goodbye), and as always was too tight-fisted to pay for me to have a secretary. She says that she won’t let me have another laptop after I trashed a

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I am much maligned’
    by Hovis on January 12, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Dear diary, Thankfully I’ve just got the mothership to write this down for me before she ships out to Mum-bye (lord, if only!) for a week, but it’s likely I won’t be able to write to you next week as she will be busy being a smorgasbord of culinary delights for the resident mosquito population.

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘genuinely, what the flip is wrong with her?’
    by Hovis on January 5, 2024 at 7:00 am

    Dear Diary, Happy New Year to all of you and I hope you had a good Kissmuss. Apologies for the lack of diary for a few weeks, but firstly the mothership bobbed off to see a big canary, and then to hog-her-mane in Scotland. Personally, I didn’t think she had the cheekbones to rock the

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘The water table is higher than mother’s debt’
    by Hovis on December 15, 2023 at 7:00 am

    Dear diary, I’m writing this from in hiding after my missive last week led to an awful lot of people wanting me lynched and strung up for being anti-Christmas. A lot of people also implied I was a Karen, which was very confusing as I am not Karen, my mother is Karen? I iz confuddled.

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Decorate trees, not horses’
    by Hovis on December 8, 2023 at 7:00 am

    Dear diary, I am writing this from within my stable as mother nature continues to ensure that we don’t so much have fields as swimming pools, with mud patches so deep we are in danger of re-enacting the snot-inducing scene from The Never Ending Story just trying to get to the yard. I last saw

  • Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘We are now freezing our nickynackynooes off’
    by Hovis on December 1, 2023 at 7:00 am

    Dear diary, Oh wow. Wow, Wow, Wow. I think I have finally met the woman of my dreams! Cute, blonde, well dressed, a smidge on the short side, but I can work with that – that’s what mounting blocks are really meant for (clue is in the title, peoples) – generous and I think RICH!

Eventing Nation Red on right, white on left, insanity in the middle